Durham On Games

Doin' it Right This Time: The Logitech G9x Gaming Mouse

2012-02-11T13:55:00.001-05:00

Once bitten by Razer's Imperator, I had a hard time getting back into the mouse hunt. Logitech's beastie of a gaming peripheral eased my fears.

Today I give thanks. I give thanks to my parents for replacing my gift - chosen by me - of a Razer Imperator game oriented mouse with a Logitech G9x. The latter is superior to the former in the way that, say, rice is better than maggots, or sex is better than immolation.

Speaking of sex:

Have you ever talked up a gorgeous girl through happy hour and beyond, gotten her to invite you over to her place, arrived there, undressed, embraced, engaged in salacious foreplay, convinced her to go down on you, and discovered she somehow thinks it's pleasurable for her to use her teeth on your delicate member? That's a terrible analogy to the experience I endured the week of my birthday with the Razer Imperator gaming mouse. It's a very pretty but ultimately frustrating input device that needs to be avoided by all gamers at all costs, and the production facilities involved in creating it really, really should be bombed to rubble like Dresden.

The G9x has all those features and things you've come to expect from Logitech, like customizable weights, a tilting, high velocity scroll wheel, buttons, etc. It also comes with two faceplates, the smaller of which was evidently made for children and people afflicted with VSLTS (very small limb terminator syndrome, a charity that means a lot to me). The larger feels better, both in terms of tactile yumminess and just plain bulk.

Salvation in a mouse

The LEDs, which all mice must presumably feature to indicate the sensitivity level to which the mouse is currently set, have the cool capability to glow in dozens of colors of your choice. Red is the default, though you might want, say, blue or purple. I don't know why orange is there. People who would willingly make mouse LEDs turn orange are probably future serial killers.

The SetPoint software, which I found through some painful trial and error works only when you install and run it as an administrator (at least, on Windows 7 x64), lets you do all the stuff scores of Logitech mouse reviewers have already written about: Create up to five dpi sensitivities for the 5700 dpi sensor; program per-EXE-file macros into the mouse's onboard memory, tip nearby cattle using the power of your mind, and so on.

What I'm trying to say is, the G9x restored my faith in mice. Once you go Logitech, you really shouldn't go back, because you end up with Imperators that shut down randomly when you're in the middle of a really tough spot in The Darkness II and there hasn't been an auto-save in what seems like 32 hours.

Now on to other things. Before I go sterilize the scrape on my penis, I have to sum things up. I currently have two gaming keyboards from back when PR people used to send me stuff like that for free, and as of yesterday they're both broken. I'm limping along with from a generic multimedia keyboard, all shy and stuff because it's in the company of a terrific Dell display, killer Logitech Z-5500 speakers, and a G9x mouse that could easily take the place of Thor's hammer Mjölner. One of these things is not like the others...

Fifteen Years; Still Stupid: My 5-Day Adventure with the Razer Imperator

2012-02-04T09:52:00.002-05:00

It's all my fault. That much I'll admit. I'm sitting here with a dud mouse that disconnects every 15-30 minutes as if it was pulled from its USB port. Sometimes I have to cold boot my PC to get the Razer Imperator to wake up again. Everyone's talking about Razer's new Blade gaming laptop, I know, but bear with me. I'm a desktop PC gaming dude and will die with a mouse in my hand; gaming laptops, iProducts, Fruit Ninja, and stuff like that frighten me.

I'm certain this is a case of a poorly designed peripheral. Razer's stuff is usually fairly decent, but someone's head was pretty far up his wazoo when he signed off on the Imperator.

I'm not going to bitch and whine about, though. Here's the thing: I spent fifteen years as a game-related hardware reviewer. I beat the shit out of stuff that showed up on my desk and then spit out a score before deadline. Now I no longer have the luxury of collecting peripherals and stuff. I wanted a new mouse, I read a few editorial reviews and compared prices, and asked for the Imperator for my birthday. It seemed logical.

Turd.

In how many languages can you say "let the buyer beware?"

As a snotty expert, I felt that editorial reviews - especially those by my respected peers - were the only way to learn the truth about a product. User reviews tend to be more passionate, but much less informative: e.g. A dweeb gets a defective product, flees to Amazon and gives it one star out of five, announcing in all caps that THIS THING FUKKIN' SUX DONT BYE IT YOU WILL REGGRET.

Amazon, Buy.com, Walmart.com, and sites that cater to the general consumer are not sources of very many valid reviews, wolf moon shirts or otherwise. I have come to discover, however, that tech specialty sites like Newegg have some of the best, most thorough, and most balanced reviews around. The same goes for certain message boards like the [H]ard|forum (Kyle, if I didn't love you, I woldn't bother with that goofy bracket thing), Guru3D forums, and such.

I ended up with a steaming lump of crap on my mousepad because I didn't check out the true user experience, by educating myself at those and other notably helpful communities. The problem with the Imperator disconnecting is noted all over the place.

So it's my fault for not trusting you, the people for whom I spent more than a decade writing about this kind of stuff. Now I'll have the glaringly lovely opportunity of going a few rounds with a tech support team - but that's for another column.

The 2011 Durham on Games GOTY Awards

2012-01-06T10:17:00.002-05:00

The Most Anticipated Game of the Year Awards are Here!

Now that 2011 is really dead and has had a few days to stop twitching, Durham on Games presents the only trustworthy Game of the Year awards! If you have not owned, played, or otherwise experienced one or more of the games within (except some of the Special Prize winners), consider yourself underprivileged.

Note that all of the games were PC versions (I'm too pathetic for publishers to send me requested console games), and I don't care if you thing some PS3 game deserves contention. I started as a PC gamer, and thus shall I go out. I don't hate my Xbox 360 or my PlayStation 3, but hey, if I don't have the software, I can't pass my clearly-superior judgment on its quality.

NOW...off to the awards. Pretend there's lots of glitter and lights and music and stuff. When you get to the final game, the GOTY winner, pretend the room you're in fills with balloons dropped from above.

The Why Couldn't This Have Been Duke Nukem Forever? Award:
Serious Sam 3: BFE
DNF sucks. SS3 rocks. The student has returned to destroy the master.

The Best Game that Makes You Wish You Owned a Fedora:
L.A. Noire
The old fedora rule went like this: you were cool enough to wear one if you went through this checklist and matched all the requirements.

1) Are you Indiana Jones?

If you said no to any of the above questions, you should never wear a fedora, ever.

Except thanks to L.A. Noire, there's another point on the checklist:

2) Are or were you a dapper cop in the 1940's?

The Coulda Been a Contender Award: Afterfall InSanity
I wanted to like this game, but couldn't. Not because of the bugs or anything like that; it's a capable, fun, intriguing, somewhat frighting psychological horror piece. The problem was the acting. The voice actors were so stiff, I wouldn't be surprised if this game developed a following among communities of plywood.

The Best Game I Haven't Finished Yet:
The Witcher 2
The Best Game I'll Probably Never Finish:
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

I'm terrible about finishing long RPGs, but each of these fantastic games deserves recognition on the Durham on Games GOTY list. The Witcher 2 is just too damn cool for its own good, while Skyrim is the most utterly playable RPG I've ever experienced. I'm not sure, however, if the latter actually ends. Maybe it's like the old Pac-Man arcade game and it errors to death after you play it for so long.

The Special Prize for the Game Most Likely to Train Me to Enjoy Life Once I Finally Snap and Turn to Serial Killing:
Bulletstorm
In this game - and I really mean that part about all this happening in a game - it has been loads of fun to yank people around on a whip, kick them into spiked metal walls, blow their heads off, and then revel in the resulting blood and gut storm. Of course, all this only occurs in Bulletstorm. It's only a game. It's only a game...

The Best Instance of an RTS Converted to an Action Game in History:
Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine
In fact, the main difference is, your Space Marine isn't expendable as it would be in the RTS. I've fed thousands of those poor little dudes into the grinder, but narrow it down to one and suddenly he lives through everything (unless you have to re-load now and then).

The Best Game for Smart People:
Portal 2
Short, sweet, and perfect, but not worth the hassle if you're not a thinker.

The Game that Makes You Wish You'd Put Down the Cheez-Ums and Get In Shape Award:
Assassin's Creed Revelations
If I could free run like that, I, well, I wouldn't be so fat. But I'd probably be just as crippled, if not more so. Since I am half-Italian (before you whine about my name being Durham, understand the WOP in me comes from my mom's side), I consider Ezio family. If I ever need a few people "whacked," I know who to call.

Special Prizes:

The Thanks for Shitting on the Entire Gaming Industry in the Guise of "Honoring" it Trophy: Spike TV

The Lifetime Achievement Award for the Piece of Software I Uninstalled Faster Than Anything Before In My Existence: Jurassic Park the Game

The Development Studio that Keeps Getting Awesome Press but that Doesn't Seem to Do Much Except Release Updates to a Game it Has Been Milking for a Decade: Blizzard

The Special Honor for the Sequel We Wanted the Most Way Back When We Last Played the Series, but Which We've Since Forgotten About: Half-Life [Episode] 3

And Finally....

The Game of the Year Award, and also The Prize for the Game Whose Main Character Your Inner Self Sees You as (but Which You'll Never Nearly Live Up to) go to:
Batman: Arkham City

If you've played it, you can't deny Arkham City is one stunner of a game. It takes everything good about Arkham Asylum, which itself is an award-winning title, and makes it awesomer. In fact, I only had one complaint, if this is even a complaint (I haven't really decided): Those final, Batman-knocked-out-the-bad-guy blows do not sound like kicks or punches. They sound like meteors the size of barges crashing into warehouses full of fireworks.

I'm Famous! Slip Away Made the Newspaper!

2011-12-12T06:00:00.002-05:00

Yee-haw! My psychologically dramatic e-novel got two column inches, on page 9, of section C, in the local Rochester Democrat & Chronicle! There's a little book section in the dwindling dead tree edition every Sunday, and one of the columns features local authors. Slip Away got a tiny write up.

There was even a massive surge of sales on December 11, when it appeared. I sold, like, ten copies! Bestseller list, here I come!

Now that I'm clearly a household name, I expect money and gifts to start pouring in any second. In fact, I recently checked the mailbox and it contained several scary white window envelopes, each of which had something to do with me giving the sender money. Now that my book is taking off like a goddamn rocket, I'll be able to continue to tell the senders that I'm broke and challenge them to get blood out of a stone. Currently, procuring money from me is akin to pulling Excalibur from its rock and becoming the ruler of England. It's just not going to happen.

Anyway, I have been playing games, a lot, and I swear I'm going to redesign this page a bit and concentrate on gaming. Someone has to do it in a reasoned matter, that's somewhat irreverent in a way that gamers get (that was a dig at Spike TV, which ruined the 2011 VGAs with gusto and made me embarrassed to be a gaming enthusiast). The main hurdle has been my deteriorating health. Sciatica sucks so much ass, it's pretty much inflated with methane by now.

I've got opinions on Skyrim, Batman: Arkham City, Assassin's Creed Revelations, LA Noire, Serious Sam 3 or whatever it's called, and more, all played on PC because none of the fucking gaming companies don't send me console games anymore. (Except Capcom - you guys rock!)

Had I the ability, the capital, and stable health, I'd happily start a Consumer Reports style gaming mag or site, for which the staff would buy games, turn away any press tchotchkies and materials, play the games like normal people without behind the scenes secrets, and give the most totally honest and unbiased reviews. I'm sick of sites that hire kids who will "write" reviews, compensated with a free game and five bucks. Such reviews usually translate to "Gee wiz! I got a game! Thank you Jesus! It's really neat! 8/10!!!!"

That's enough bitching. Go buy my book. Game roundup in the works. Have a great week and don't forget to buy tasteful Christmas presents for your coworkers. That cute secretary would probably dig a Hallmark snow globe, and you might get a date or a blow job or something out of it.

Out.

EnRAGEing - Durham's review of id's RAGE

2011-10-16T02:33:00.001-04:00

EDITOR'S NOTE: Since Joel is a has-been tech guy but currently a wuss, he's decided to write occasional game reviews, mostly for attention. He's not cool enough at all to receive games in advance like those smarmy magazines and high-traffic websites, so his reviews come in a bit late. To compensate - something Joel has to do regarding many things - he tries to make his reviews interesting. Good luck.

Hey there! Evidently id Software made another game, after about 75 years of bathing in money from the Wolfenstein, Doom, and Quake franchises. Who wouldn't?

I've played a whole bunch of the kinda-sorta-sandbox-that-gives-the-illusion-of-free-choice-but-really-leads-you-around-by-the-balls game RAGE (Windows version). It's cool in a frustrating way, or frustrating in a cool way, whichever you like.

After I'd spent sufficient time wrestling with tech issues like the famous texture popping and such (this was actually part of the game; that John Carmack is a sly fox!) the game looked fantastic One certainly can't fault the graphics of the new id engine.

As I played, though, I started thinking of other games. Yes, in the post-apocalyptic world of RAGE, you drive, you race, you shoot people and mutants, you upgrade your cars and your weapons, deliver mail, etc. Yes, you read that right. You can be a mailman if you choose. Exciting stuff.

Almost every aspect of RAGE, though, feels oddly familiar. To show the effect, I made this handy pie chart because it'll make the review look more sophisticated.

Thank you, GraphJam! I would have used Excel, but that's so involving. Now, let's go through each component of the game RAGE.

First off, because it's made by id, it obviously features elements of other id games. The two that came to mind are Quake 3 and Doom 4. No, wait. That's Doom 3 and Quake 4. Right? Despite id's attempt to get away from corridor frag fests, the player experiences them whenever he attempts to complete a mission and goes inside a cave network, rundown shack, etc. Mutants charge at you (hello Quake!) and sometimes burst out of nowhere from behind (hey there, Doom's monster closets!). Occasionally the bad guys use tactics, like diving for cover and such.

The driving is very Interstate '76 (hopefully the people - er, person who reads this is old enough to remember that incredible game). You arm your car by winning races and receiving tickets, which are a currency especially for buying car weaponry. The other currency, for mundane crap like bullets, is dollars. Yes, American dollar bills somehow retain value after an apocalypse. Hell, the dollar is barely a working currency right freaking now and there hasn't been an apocalypse yet. Maybe a good old fashioned meteor strike would raise its value against the euro.

Fallout 3 is obvious. Look at the screenshots of the game. If anyone except Bethesda published RAGE, it would have sued the publisher for recreating Fallout 3.

I threw John Romero's Daikatana in there not because the games are similar, but because RAGE was spectacularly hyped and turned out to be something of a letdown. Now, it's not a letdown on the level of the abysmal Daikatana, which, I understand, parents punish their children by forcing them to play it, but I saw similarities in the prerelease blah-blah and the actual release, which was clumsy and made me think of the late Peter Seller's Inspector Clouseau, and how he'd release a title.

Finally, The Postman. It's a film, not a game, but still, for Christ's sake, RAGE, the awesome action powerhouse from the worlds's most celebrated and influential developer studio...makes you a postal carrier. Whee!

Now, if you dig all that crap, the technical glitches and core components of RAGE, go ahead and enjoy it. I'm rather glad to be through with it...not because it was awful but because it was mediocre. That, of all things, is non id-like.

SCORE: 7.8 Mutant Heads Exploding When You Score A Headshot (out of 10).

Slip Away - Technical Difficulties

2011-09-23T09:16:00.005-04:00

UPDATE: It looks like it's now available via the iBookstore. You can also grab it at the Kindle store and through Lulu (via the button to the right).

Slip Away, the spectacularly unknown novel that commands zero demand throughout the entire world, might not be available for a few hours (and hopefully not more than that). I've been battling Lulu's EPUB converter, which adores spitting out multiple errors with explanations so vague they could be about problems elephants experience while trying to mate.

Nevertheless, I think I've finally ironed out most of the non-issues that the converter honestly believe will cause the Rapture if they should make it past its crappy filters. If you have a Kindle, grab some cheap, good lit, as that service is unaffected.

Also, I'm going to write about games again soon. If that's what you're interested in, be patient just a bit longer. The upcoming posts won't be your average game reviews...

Editor's Choice for Fiction...Times Three!

2011-09-08T10:48:00.000-04:00

I'm a regular contributor to Fiction Writers Platform, a sort of DIY publishing spot for short works. I've just earned my third Editor's Choice award! In order of date of reception, the awards are for:

Perfect Angel, which I wrote while listening to an Elliott Smith song called Twilight,

Thick as a Brick, obviously inspired by the famous Jethro Tull one-track rock album,

and finally,

Love Song, a short story I wrote for my loving wife Emily as a Valentine's Day gift.

Please give them a read and, if you would, a brief review (or even limit your reaction to a simple star rating, which is an option below each story, if you care to); it won't take very long and I truly appreciate any and all feedback.

UPDATE: SLIP AWAY PRICE DROP! My heavily praised debut novel only $2.99!

2011-09-06T14:01:00.000-04:00

My ebook Slip Away was recently chosen as the featured work onSelect Authors! If you love a good read, consider investing a pittance of $2.99 at the Kindle or Nook stores, depending on which ereader you own. If you don't have one, you can buy the novel for $4.00 as a PDF at Lebrary.

It's coming-of-age tragedy laced with bits of dark comedy, romance, and paintball.

There is a taste of the book, in the form of the prologue and the first three chapters, available for your perusal. I really need you to share it with all your friends and work up a groundswell to get this sucker moving. My cat's life may depend on it: I'm very broke and very hungry.

Lastly, sometime in the next year or so, watch for my sophomore novel tentatively titled God Walks Among Us Now.

Support a Starving Artist and Get a Great Indie e-Novel!

2011-09-04T08:44:00.000-04:00

My ebook Slip Away was recently chosen as the featured work on Select Authors! If you love a good read, consider investing a pittance of $4.00 at the Kindle or Nook stores, depending on which ereader you own. If you don't have one, you can buy the novel as a PDF at Lebrary.

It's coming-of-age tragedy laced with bits of dark comedy, romance, and paintball.

There is a taste of the book, in the form of the prologue and the first three chapters, available for your perusal. I really need you to share it with all your friends and work up a groundswell to get this sucker moving. My cat's life may depend on it: I'm very broke and very hungry.

Lastly, sometime in the next year or so, watch for my sophomore novel tentatively titled God Walks Among Us Now.

Punching Out

2011-07-22T15:18:00.001-04:00

I know the two or three readers of my blog have, occasionally and in passing, have perhaps wondered why I don't update it very much anymore. I have a reason, and it's a pretty good one. It sucks, but it's a good reason. Editors, too, might wonder where the hell I've been. This should explain a lot.

I worked the last few years of my career for ExtremeTech, and shortly after my layoff I had to come to terms with a sad fact. Due to crippling sciatic pain that runs down both my legs and makes my lower spinal area raw with pain, I can't do much, if any, work on computers anymore. The bending, the lifting, the etc. make the very idea excruciating to even think about.

Furthermore, I'm on some pretty mind blowing drugs to make the pain more tolerable. If you think that sounds fun, you've never been on these drugs. I'm not going to name them here. Suffice it to say they make it very hard to formulate, convey, and keep concentrating on a thought long enough to put it to words. Case in point: Five years ago I'd have finished a piece like this within ten minutes - today it's I've labored for more than an hour frequently using the spell checker and wondering if my grammar is correct.

I've lost the ability to do everything I've ever made into a fruitful career. Surgery didn't work, neurostimulation is failing, PT made the situation worse...I've been through it all.

I'm a derelict.

Maybe at some point I'll be able to do game roundups like I used to, here, on my blog, for little or no pay. I appreciate the companies that still send me titles. Sometimes I can get a little while of play time in before my mind goes blank or the office chair becomes too uncomfortable to sit in.

Other than that, you can check out occasional, short rants on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and so on, but other than social media my online life will be limited at best.

I wish all the love in the world to my readers, editors, PR associates, and all the rest.

I'm down, but not out.

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Hey, while you're feeling weepy, check out my enovel. It's the story of a kid who loses everything. Slip Away is available for Kindle, Nook and as a PDF.

Blacklists and Bullshit in the Games Industry

2011-06-16T13:13:00.000-04:00

Come get some? No thanks.

When your PR plan is to review "who gets games next time and who doesn't based on" negative reviews of what is, in most critics' opinions, a shit title, makes mainstream news, your PR venture - in this case Redner Group - is a massive slab of fail. Having survived being an ancillary player in the gaming industry for 14 years plus, I blacklists are bullshit for cowardly, sniveling vermin.

Remember that big stink about how Ubisoft denied getting Jeff Gerstmann fired from Gamespot for daring to give Kane and Lynch: Dead Men a mediocre review? Not too long after, when I worked for Ziff Davis' Extremetech, I called my Ubisoft PR person (no names here) and had an awkward conversation. I was looking for a game that the team felt would be useful in benchmarking hardware. The extremely uncomfortable PR guy refused to send me a copy, not, he said, because the company didn't want the publicity, but because evidently someone in Ziff Davis Media also crapped on Dead Men and - as being part of that company - I was effectively cut off from receiving Ubisoft games. At all.

The PR dude's hands were tied; he was overly apologetic but rules were rules, even if they're conjured up in seedy backroom meetings among demons, golems and executives. Not only did I not, at the time, give my opinion on games very often, I was offering the title in particular display on what was once a very popular tech site.

Guess what, I say, shouting up toward the public relations gods beyond the clouds, and thus to every gaming megacorporation and every panderer to them, which together has ruined my hobby. Guess what? You can suck up that "blacklist" shit and stow it in your enormous, distended rectums. And fuck you while you're at it.

The real punishment the reviewers continually take on the chin isn't the threat of passive aggressive retaliation from the industry at large; it's having to suffer through playing the cookie-cutter crap games it churns out. With creativity in gaming at an all-time low (indie developers excepted) and dollar-worship in the stratosphere, the gaming industry is muddled in the same sort of mediocrity that's sweeping Hollywood and the music industry.

If the medium is the message, then blacklist me. I'm not listening anymore.

Koresh was Jesus, Damnit! The Indelicates are Back!

2011-05-20T05:00:00.000-04:00

If you like music, you've got to check this out. The Indelicates, and indie British band, just released its third album, the daring concept musical David Koresh Superstar. If the word "blasphemy" is part if your most commonly used vocabulary, you might want to avoid this masterwork, but otherwise it's a genius mishmash of punk, country, pop, and straight-out rock.

David Koresh Superstar explores the idea that the Waco wacko, whose heavily-fortified compound was burned to the ground by the ATF in 1993, was the messiah he claimed to be: Koresh was the Second Coming of Christ. As an atheist, I don't even believe in the first coming, so take it for what it is: what we have here not so much a brilliant revelation as it is a terrific fantasy exploration of the insane - a Ziggy Stardust for the modern generation.

You can get David Koresh Superstar at Corporate Records for what you wish to pay, from £3 (about $5) and up. You set your price. If you're a real asshole, you can get the whole thing for free, but if you do you're shitting on fine art.

Quick Note - I Won an EC Award!

2011-04-19T14:32:00.001-04:00

As one accustomed to bestowing editor's choice awards to the most exceptional of the products I review, I never really considered the possibility of receiving one. Now I finally know the feeling I've been inducing on the finest developers over the years: A short-short story I wrote and posted on Fiction Writer's Platform won an Editor's Choice!

The story is called Perfect Angel and it's so short that, were I to preview it here, I'd probably write more words than are within the story itself. I suggest you head over to the blog and read it yourself - it'll take you two minutes and you might even enjoy it!

If you really like it, feel free to preview Slip Away. It's a dramatic, full-length e-novel you can buy for Nook, Kindle or as a PDF for a mere $4.

EDIT: As Elisabeth Sladen, the actress who played my favorite Doctor Who companion of all time, Sarah Jane Smith, died today, I feel compelled to share the comment I posted on the BBC news story:

XO Lis. I loved you from afar when you were Sarah Jane, that cute, sweet, perky little thing. I've seen the entire series, from the surviving episodes of the first two Doctors and all the way up the current Time Lord, and Sarah Jane Smith was and still is my favorite of the Doctor's companions. May your spirit travel through time and space in peace, Ms. Sladen.

Pointless Idealism, but Noble, at Rock-Paper-Shotgun

2011-03-25T04:46:00.000-04:00

The reason I missed this bus that rolled out on March 22 is due to a catastrophic PC failure. I've been rebuilding, restoring backups, etc. Anyhow, in the interest of not burying the lede any further than need be, I present to you a useless Web petition aimed at making game release dates the same throughout the world. This comes courtesy of Rock-Paper-Shotgun.

Yes, it's silly to think a bunch of geeks typing there names on a Website can possibly move the mountain that is the gaming industry. I'm sure there are very good reasons to "roll out" games on different dates based on international borders or something. Great reasons, in fact. Such as...well...yeah. Uh huh.

A couple of reasons not to, perhaps, include not pissing off your fan bases outside of the US and Canada, and the simple fact that there doesn't seem to be any good argument in favor of doing just that.

So, as RPS says, there are no oceans on the Internet, and neither should there be in the game world. Huzzah! Now, off you go to sign the petition. It'll do a world of good!

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Shameless, unavoidable plug: BUY MY E-NOVEL! Clicky for a sample and details. It's good--really!

Slip Away for Nook!

2011-02-20T02:17:00.001-05:00

Slip Away the amazing coming-of-age novel about which one reader said "It's a really profound experience, to read your story..." is now available for Nook!

Of course, you can also get it for Kindle, and from Lebrary.com as a simple PDF.

If you're not sure, check out the four-chapter preview!

No matter where you buy it, this full-length novel is only $4.00, and well worth it. All I ask is if you like it, tell your friends.

Thanks!!

My Debut E-novel Now Available from Amazon for Kindle!

2011-02-18T15:38:00.000-05:00

If you have a Kindle e-reader, start saving up your pennies until you have 400 of them! Slip Away, my first novel, is now available in Amazon's Kindle shop!

Once again, Nook is in progress. Sample here. PDF (also costing $4.00) here. Enjoy!

Kindle Page is Live, but Slip Away Isn't Available Yet...

2011-02-18T14:33:00.000-05:00

Kindle says Slip Away should be available within 24 hours from its page.

Of course, you can get it as a PDF through Lebrary.com, and if you're unsure about whether you'd care to take either plunge, check out an extensive preview first.

A Nook edition will be available soon.

eReader Support Incoming!

2011-02-17T18:03:00.000-05:00

Lots of people have been asking about Nook and Kindle support for my debut novel, Slip Away. Good news: I've completed the self-publishing process for each of those readers, though it will take a few days for the companies behind them to list the novel for purchase. I guess they have to make sure it's not porn or something.

I'll update here with links when Slip Away is available for your ereaders.

Thanks for your support!

Slip Away

2011-02-16T10:06:00.000-05:00

Reminder: My electronic-exclusive debut novel Slip Away is available now!

Check out the prologue and the first three chapters first.

If you dig it, buy it as a PDF for $4 from Lebrary.com!

I'm working on getting it on Nook and Kindle, but formatting's a bitch.

Thanks for your support!

UPDATE: Slip Away is Available for Purchase!

2011-02-15T11:41:00.004-05:00

Available now are both a preview of Slip Away, my debut novel, and for a mere $4, the entire novel in PDF format!

It's also out for Kindle and Nook!

If anyone knows anyone who works in acquisitions for a traditional publisher, please get us in touch. I'm still open to traditional publishing (which would likely be more profitable).

SLIP AWAY, still on its way...

2011-02-05T17:47:00.000-05:00

Quick update:

Hand-formatting the damn thing for pub is taking longer than I expected. Furthermore, the Library of Congress isn't exactly a swift service to deal with.

In any case, the digital novel WILL be released, and all I'll ask you to do is tell everyone you know to buy a copy--and to tell everyone THEY know to buy one, too.

Honestly, while I hope to sell enough to get the attention of a major publisher, my hopes aren't up--but this I know: Readers will not be disappointed.

When the book becomes available, I'll post the prologue and the first three chapters to read absolutely free.

SLIP AWAY, the Debut Novel by Joel Durham Jr...

2010-12-29T22:35:00.001-05:00

...coming soon to Kindle, Nook, and a batch of other digital formats.

Price: Likely under $5.00!

Durham on Games Will Return...

2010-11-30T19:12:00.000-05:00

I've got some interesting stuff rollin' on, rollin' on, rollin' on down the pipe.

(Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first.........)

Why Joel Doesn't Sleep

2010-06-13T11:51:00.001-04:00

Believe it or not, I'm still a freelance writer. In fact, I've been busier than ever writing for and prepping for a few new markets that will keep me running for the foreseeable future.

First off, I've submitted a couple of reviews--and built up a testbed for more--to Maximum PC, a site/mag I've been associated with for many years. In fact, way back when it was called boot magazine, I worked on the other side of a partition from the editors during my stint as PC Gamer's first Technical Editor. We used to kick the boot team's asses at CTF in Quake 2. Legends like Sean Cleveland, George Jones, my current editor Michael Brown, and the late and personally influential Andrew Sanchez have all been/still are part of the incredible MaxPC team.

Next, I've recently been awarded a contract position as the "acting" Editor-in-Chief of FiringSquad. My first column is up, and as you may know, this site needs a lot of TLC. Under my reign, it will retake its position as one of the premiere gaming websites in the universe. I have a ton of stuff in store for the site, some of which will go up this week, so keep an eye on it.

I've also been working for PC World with my old ExtremeTech teammate Jason Cross, and I'm in the running to become the Video Game Gear Guide at About.com. All the while, I've been writing a steady string of notebook reviews for Computer Shopper. Fun stuff there.

So yeah, with all that going on, plus family life and attempting to grow a decent crop of tomatoes, I've got a heck of a lot to do lately. That said, I have some writing to do. Peace!

Vincent "Kip" Bianchi

2010-06-06T12:20:00.001-04:00

This piece has been a long time coming, primarily because it's been so difficult to write. My uncle Vincent Bianchi, whom I knew as Uncle Kip, and who was also my godfather, died May 24. He lived in Stafford, NY with his wife, Bonnie, and he and was known throughout the world by fishing enthusiasts--more on that later.

Uncle Kip was a magical, larger-than-life figure during my childhood. He was my cool uncle, the one with all the best toys, the most awesome pets, the gnarliest personality. In fact, he was a larger-than-life figure to a great many people, as I'm finding out every day. He let me fire weapons most people never even get to see firsthand; he collected knives and gave me most of the pocketknives I own. When he showed up with a gift, I knew it was going to be fantastic.

My mom's brother, Uncle Kip was my only first uncle on her side. In fact, on her side, most of my great uncles have all passed; I have one left. For the first half of my life, Kip was closer to me than the vast majority of my other extended family members. When his children and I were young, we got together every Christmas eve for great food and a gift exchange. By the time I was old enough to drive, I'd often drive my grandmother out to Stafford to see her son and to hang out, ride Kip's ATVs, shoot a few tracer rounds into the woods, and chill with my cousins Vincent (aka "Hooch") and Rhonda.

After the rigors of adulthood and parenthood took hold, I didn't see Kip as much as I used to. Everyone was busy; there was no time. The Christmas tradition faded away. We failed to connect.

I regret that now, because his death brought on the realization of how much he meant to me.

A couple years ago, Kip was diagnosed with two forms of cancer. With the help of the outstanding doctors at the Roswell Park Cancer Institute in Buffalo, he beat one and the other went into remission, but the battle weakened him severely. When the other cancer came back--returned with a fury--there wasn't anything anyone could do. He died at home, his final words being: "I knew a lot of people."

And that he did. After retiring from a painting company he created from the ground up, he pursued with passion his hobby of fishing. He created his own brand of lures, all handmade, called the Glitter Bitch, he participated strongly in the muskie fishing community in the Niagara River area, and he even appeared on fishing shows on ESPN. He also loved animals and owned a number of birds (including Bomba, the coolest parrot ever) and became active in breeding and showing dogs.

I miss Uncle Kip dearly. I offer my love and support to all who remember him fondly, including Bonnie, Hooch, Rhonda, my mom Janice, Kip's grandchildren Nick and Bianca, the kennel and fishing communities, and everyone whose lives he touched.

He knew a lot of people.

Draw Muhammad Day is Stupid (language warning)

2010-05-20T12:36:00.002-04:00

My feelings about this fracas are summed up in this post I made on Quarter to Three:

I was so fucking ready to participate. I was in the Facebook group and I had my picture ready.

The FB group threads were filled with Western idiots screaming "ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS" and Arab fuckheads screaming "WE WIL KIL U DIKS HU DRAW R PROPHET (PBUH)."

It was sickening. I was defending free speech, saying the point was that we weren't going to let radical Islamofacists prevent us from exercising freedom of expression through threats of violence. Responses amounted to: Western idiots screaming "ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS" and Arab fuckheads screaming "WE WIL KIL U DIKS HU DRAW R PROPHET (PBUH)."

Then I met a peaceful Muslim named Ali. He simply said, "Please, these people threatening you are not true Muslims. I beg peace. True Muslims respect all others and do not cause harm. Please do not insult our prophet."

Ali and I got in a conversation between all the FUCK ISLAM and FUK U WE KIL YUO posts. We grew to respect each other. He respected my lack of faith, and I came to respect his view of Islam, and his begging for a lack of violence.

I deleted my Muhammad picture. I can't insult a billion Muslims for the radicalism of a small percentage. I discovered I love peace as much as I love the First Amendment.

Take from that what you will.

'Nuff said.

One other thing: Ali Shehzad, if you read this, contact me.

Warhammer...WTF?

2010-05-08T13:02:00.007-04:00

If you've ever played Warhamer tabletop or computer games, you've probably visited Warhammer- Alliance.com. It's the ultimate fan site for the Warhammer series of titles, owned by Games Workshop. Fans gather at Warhammer Alliance, on its busy forums, to discuss the IP's titles, share mods, post about strategies, and so on.

If you owned a franchise, would you be grateful for such fostering of your brand, or would you sue the bejeezus out of the site for various reasons including copyright violation? That's exactly what Games Workshop is doing to Warrhammer Alliance. The complaint (PDF) is ridiculous, and, in my opinion, looks to be a money-grab more than anything else. From the complaint (thanks to McKnight at Quarter to Three for pointing this out):

22. Defendants' website at the URL warhammeralliance.com displays HTML links featuring banner advertisements, and, upon information and belief, when Internet users click on one or more of the displayed HTML advertisements at the warhammeralliance.com website, Defendants receive payment from one or more advertisers, search engines, or affiliate programs.

Here's a tangent. You may have read of my fandom of Elliott Smith. When he found a Website promoting his music called Sweet Adeline, named after a song on his album XO, he contacted the sites administration and asked for it to be his official site. That, my friends, is embracing your fans.

By "embracing" I mean "not crapping on" your fans, which is exactly what Games Workshop is doing. According to the post linked above, the complaint mentions "trademark infringement, cybersquatting (on the domain name), dilution and unfair competition." I'm sorry--I didn't know that by dedicating your time and your life to promoting someone's product, you were harming the product. That's new to me.

There's no shortage of stupidity and fan alienation in the games industry (see, for instance, Ubisoft DRM). I played a bunch of Warhammer Online (am I allowed to say that?), until I realized that if I continued I'd never get any work done. I've also played most of the standalone Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 PC and even PSP titles.

I'm uninstalling them now.

I'm trading in my copy of the PSP's Warhammer 40,000 Squad Command game. Unless this lawsuit is dropped, I'll never drop another dime on product from Games Workshop.

I hope all the denizens of Warhammer Alliance follow suit. There are plenty of tabletop and PC strategy games, and, as of now, they're all superior alternatives to anything bearing the Warhammer logo.

Rigged

2010-04-15T02:01:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago, something impossible happened to my primary rig. When I say "primary" I mean it's the one I do most of my gaming on, as opposed to the workstation in the basement that serves as my grinding-out-articles PC.

The impossible event originated in the keyboard, a Logitech G11. There was a distinct, but very quiet, popping sound, and then it quit working--lights out and all. It also smelled like roasted electronics.

Here's the impossible part: Somehow, this itty-bitty spike blew out the entire USB bus on my computer, which was then powered by a Gigabyte EX58-UD3R.

Long story short, that's not supposed to ever happen, ever, due to the fact that there are several failsafes between a USB device and the USB ports on the computer, all of which failed, but both Gigabyte and Logitech came through for me and sent new parts. I built up a new-ish rig, which is configured as such (some links provided for less-common parts; the others are easy to Google):

Case: Thermaltake Element G (lots of fans in lots of adjustable colors, but still relatively quiet and very cool)
Motherboard: Gigabyte X58-UD5 (complete with SATA 3 and USB 3.0)
CPU: Intel Core i7 920 overclocked from 2.6Ghz to 3.2GHz with a Thermaltake air cooler of some sort (I forget the model, but any decent aftermarket cooler will allow such a modest overclock)
Memory: 12GB (6x2GB) of 1333MHz OCZ Gold triple-channel +
--Dell S2409W 1920x1080 monitor (an oldie, but a goodie)
Graphics: ASUS's version of an Nvidia GTX 285, with an old Nvidia 8800 dedicated for PhysX. (Not sure if that second card is worth even having, considering the heat and wattage factors.)
Audio: ASUS Xonar Essence STX (simply the best headphone-centric sound card available) +
--Phiaton PS 300 NC headset (wow, just wow) and
--Logitech Z-5500 connected w/optical cable (too loud for my living room--which is a good thing)
Input: Logitech G500 mouse + G110 keyboard (because I take gaming seriously)
OS: Win7 x64, natch.

I gotta say, I'm pretty satisfied with this system so far, except that I can't play Metro 2033 at full bore. I'm not even sure that a 400 series Nvidia/5000 series ATI card can do that, though.

Oh, and another note: I've been talking with Michael Brown over at Maximum PC, and it looks like I'll be doing reviews there soon. That's almost like going home; back when it was called boot Magazine, I sat on the other side of a partition from the editors whilst I worked as Tech Ed for PC Gamer.

Life After Carmageddon

2010-04-05T23:51:00.003-04:00

I recently unearthed a floppy diskette with some writings on it, dated 1997. That would be when I worked at PC Gamer as the magazine's first Technical Editor (predating some poseur who called himself "The Vede" by more than a year). Though tech is fun and all, I've always considered myself a writer first and foremost, and I wrote a bit at home as well writing 12 or more pages of The Hard Stuff at work. Remember, this was when PC Gamer was a 400 page monthly tome, not the pamphlet it's become today. In the words of then-editor Dan Bennett, we could sneeze and accidentally put out a 96-page mag back then.

At home, my computer was, at the time, a floppy drive-equipped, Celeron powered piece of crap, good for running a word processor and not much more. Still, I banged away at it, with its clickety-click IBM PS/2 keyboard, and even, as I've just discovered, had the wherewithal to back up my writings to floppy. A few minutes ago, I dug out a floppy drive from deep within my pile of ancient drives on one of my gray shelves so I could see if this diskette, labeled "Random Writings 1997-98," was readable. I was amazed at the fact I could actually pull a couple of Word files from it.

One I actually remember writing. I'd probably just reviewed Carmageddon II: Carpocalypse Now for PCG (a review I cannot find online). I had fun with the Carmageddon series, an apocalyptic racing franchise which not only encouraged you, but required you, to run over pedestrians in droves. Animated sprites, they went splat in a few shades of satisfying red before disintegrating. I remember referencing Joe Lieberman in the review; he was the Jack Thompson of the day, the mentally challenged village idiot who thought games corrupted our youth or something.

(Incidentally, now that Jack's been so thoroughly discredited and neutered, I wonder who will take up the "cause?")

One night, after my wife was in bed in our tiny, little apartment, which was only a few feet from route 101 in Burlingame, I stayed up and wrote a what if piece. Inspired by the merciless-but-fun pedestrian murder in Carmageddon II, I wrote a short bit hinging on the idea that each of the poor souls had a real life. For your (and my) amusement, I now post it in its entirety.

Thirty Seconds of Carmageddon
Joel Durham Jr.
CARMAGEDDON is the copyright of whomever owns it now.

In a roar of an engine, with a satisfying splatter of blood and bone and meat, my ped count goes up by one. Four more, and if I can nail them in less than about twenty-eight seconds, I'll have this race wrapped up. It's a ped kill race, not a beat-the-other-guy race. In those types, I kill other drivers. This time around, I'm killing so-called "innocents," people dumb enough to be walking the streets while I'm behind the wheel.

Most of them have scattered, though. They're running into buildings, up stairs, places where my ride can't go. With its enormous wheels, its massive engine, it's too wide to blast its way into an office building, too heavy for a pedestrian overpass. Chrome spikes all around, this vehicle was made to kill, not to finesse its way down bike trails in the park.

But they can't all escape. As the timer ticks down to twenty-three, I line up a fat white guy sporting a traditional striped tie toting a traditional black briefcase. Kill number forty-seven explodes across the hood, decapitated head bouncing off my windsh--

Charles. Charles McGraw. He was about to hail a cab when he painted my black car momentarily red. He was late home from work and, even though he knew there were reports of a Carmageddon race in the city, he decided to take the chance to get home to his wife, Liz, who was pregnant with their second child. Their first, Timothy, would right now be pacing as fast as his three-year-old legs could carry him, back and forth in front of the front door, chanting WHERE'S DADDY? WHERE'S DADDY? Liz will receive a phone call in half an hour, her face will go white, she'll drop to the floor denying the whole time--

What the hell was that?

My brain, something flashed in it, when my eyes made contact with the last guy's (Charles') lifeless eyes as his head bounced off my front window.

How the hell was I supposed to know all that? Was my imagination running away with me? I remember the first few, way back, years ago, when the Carmageddon races were new. Those were tough. But now? How many have I wasted? Enough to live in a big damn mansion, that's for sure. Why would they--no. That was just some sort of, well, flashback.

Aw, hell. Too long. I have to look for a crowd now. I'm not used to losing races, but that killed almost ten seconds. Down to twelve.

There. There's a lady, tall, with a purse. Easy kill, if I throw the wheel to the right in a sec...now. Excellent. She goes up like a sack of red paint in a water balloo--

That was Jill Wright. Fiancee to Keith Stanley. This would have been her second marriage. She lost her first husband, and truest love of her life, to a long battle with prostate cancer. Jill took more than four years to recover enough to meet Keith, but at 29 she had still been young and, though she never believed she would be, she had finally been ready to make another man happy. Jill had lived for her loved ones, her generous heart going out to anyone in need of some caring. Keith understood she would always love her first husband, but Jill was such a special girl he could understand. He was at her apartment, awaiting her with a single white rose. He'd heard about the races and was a bit worried--but the cops would bust them up before she left her retail job downtown. Unbeknown to Keith, Jill had left early to surprise him...

Not again! And time was up. I'd missed it. For the first time in literally a year and a half, I didn't finish off 50 peds in time. What was going on? Was that really someone named Jill?

Naw, I was going crazy. Only explanation. I glanced in the rearview, but there wasn't much left of whoever that girl had been.

No way. There was no Charles. There was no Jill. I stroke my stubbly chin, glance back out the front window...

...and it's too late to brake.

I hear the whistle, see the red and white striped gate break into pieces across my hood.

I wonder if the engineer will get some sort of vision of who I had been, I think, as my blood stained car comes apart--like a pedestrian against its own chrome spikes.

-end-

This is How You Do it.

2010-03-28T10:13:00.003-04:00

I guess the word is out, so I can blog about this now. My father-in-law, Frank, just found out this past week he is afflicted with stage four, terminal, incurable lung cancer. He is not a smoker. He's a fit and active guy who look twenty years younger than he is. The shit of it is this: He never had symptoms to catch it early. He started getting short of breath recently, went to the hospital, and they drained his lungs, which were filling with fluid. It happened again and again.

Meantime, he had back surgery. The doctors studied some of the pre-surgical tests and found out his diagnosis. He needs CT and PET scans before his oncologist can give him information about the extent, the time he may have left, etc.

The thing is, he's in terrific spirits. I know the first stage is denial, but I don't think that's in his nature. Frank's oncologist told him to carry on with his life as long as he's feeling well, which he is.

So Frank has plans. He's going on tour. He's coming to Rochester next week to enjoy my daughter's baptism and first communion (she was 8 when she decided, to the surprise and delight of her mom, who is spiritual, and I, an atheist, to join the Catholic church). Her grandfather, Frank, who has always been involved with the churches in the towns in which he's lived, will be there, along with his wife Betty, and of course my wife and I and my parents. We'll celebrate!

Then Frank and Betty are going Philadelphia to see my nephew (their grandson) play hockey. The kid is right around 16 and the star player on his team, the one who constantly makes the last-minute, game-saving goals. He's a prodigy, more at home on skates than in sneakers.

Next, Frank and Betty are going to attend the Masters golf tournament. Frank has not only been there many times, but has actually volunteered (and been chosen) to keep the grounds clean--a high honor for golf fans.

Why did I tell you all this? Because I want you to know that Frank is going to spend his last days, however many they are, living. Cancer or no cancer, Frank is not dying in any greater sense than we all are. He is a wise and wonderful man and deserves as much time as he can get--and he'll spend every minute of it enjoying life.

In the immortal words of Jim Morrison, no one here gets out alive. And in the equally compelling words of Mark Oliver "E" Everett, maybe it's time to live.

Punch in the Gut

2010-03-26T14:36:00.002-04:00

Received dire news about two family members.

Things are not going to be okay.

Busy

2010-03-18T09:47:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts...been pretty busy lately. I'm doing some stuff for publication and some behind-the-scene things I can't really talk about. Here are a couple of Computer Shopper notebook reviews that have posted recently.

More to come. No word on the fiction book yet, but I'm hoping.

WhoStore Offers Partial Refund

2010-03-11T16:32:00.001-05:00

I'll go ahead and declare this a victory.

Although I paid £90, WhoStore has informed me that it has processed an £80 refund.

Hey--I'll take what I can get.

Thanks to WhoStore for (finally) doing the right thing.

The WhoStore Saga is Closed

2010-03-09T18:03:00.006-05:00

NOTE:

Because WhoStore has offered a partial refund as a show of good faith, I'm hiding this post for the time being at its request. We had a dispute, but that dispute is in the past and the matter can be considered final and closed.

In fairness to those who took the time to comment, I'm leaving this placeholder and leaving the comments up. Let this serve as a warning to any retail establishment that may not believe the customer is always right: Sooner or later, he will be.

Case closed. Nothing more to see here. Move along.

Here's Hoping

2010-03-05T20:04:00.002-05:00

Quick update.

In case you weren't aware, I wrote a yet-to-be-published novel called Slip Away. I have a killer agent who has been pimping the crap out of it. We've sent proposals (query letters, synopses, and the first three chapters) to many publishers.

This week, two publishers requested us to send the entire novel.

If you believe in the power of positive thought, please send me good vibes. I've dreamed of being a novelist since I was a child. I still have that dream, strongly, and this is as close as I've ever been.

It could happen. Please, keep me in your thoughts and prayers. This could be big. Let's hope, hope, hope it works out.

Thanks!

Stuff Sucks

2010-02-27T13:28:00.003-05:00

I love being a gamer. I totally dig playing whatever comes along, or whatever I can afford. But as with any gamer, I have complaints.

Ubisoft. DRM sucks major amounts of ass. The way Ubisoft is doing it should be criminal. This will not work. The company's games, which include the glorious Assassin's Creed 2, will be cracked, and hopefully, due to the DRM fiasco, the PC version won't sell more than 3 copies. We need to band together to send the bullies a message.

Incompatibilities. Oh hell yeah. When a game won't run because of the sound card you bought, or because of your system's motherboard's load balancing, or something, it's a real bitch. My father just had to switch from ATI to Nvidia because the latest Need for Speed game stuttered on the former. That's expensive and unnecessary. I think the bottom line is, game devs need to listen to, not stifle, their QA departments.

Consolitis. I know I've talked about being a multi-platform gamer, but I grew up on PCs. When games get specifically dumbed down for the lack of decent consoles, PC gamers lose (and I know some folks are saying Crysis 2 won't be dumbed down on the PC side, but we'll see when it comes out). Kudos, however, to BioWare for putting out significantly different versions of Dragon Age: Origins. The combat in the console versions is simplistic, but on the PC it's deep and tactical.

Piracy. Part of the reason Ubisoft is criminally overreacting regarding its DRM is that ordinary, smart people who wouldn't steal from retail stores still pirate games. On one of my insider's message boards, I learned of a major developer's nephew who, in a casual and hapless manner, told his uncle that he pirates games all the time. His uncle actually didn't know how to respond. Were it me, I would have ripped his teeth out. As a writer of books, I've been a victim of piracy, and I'd have all intellectual property pirates strung up by their genitalia if I were king of the world. It's a happy dream.

That's enough bitching for now. I got most of it off my chest. I have to get my prospective novel out to publishers now, hoping that it will get published, become a bestseller, and get scanned and pirated by Google.

Peace.

Capcom COO Mark Beaumont Dies

2010-02-23T18:18:00.003-05:00

I wish to offer my heartfelt condolences to the friends and family of Mark Beaumont, European and North American COO of Capcom Entertainment. Beaumont died this morning of a heart attack.

Though I never met Beaumont, I read of him frequently and he was a popular presence in the gaming industry. He will be missed.

School Spies on Students Through Notebook Webcams

2010-02-22T09:17:00.005-05:00

If this doesn't make you sick, what does?

According to a court filing discovered by BoingBoing, at least one school in the Lower Merion School District, in an affluent Philadelphia suburb, is using, as I understand it, school-issued notebook computers to spy on students via the machines' webcams and microphones.

The school isn't relegating use of the digital bugs in school, either. It's spying on kids outside of school, including in places like students' own homes.

Thankfully, the school made the mistake of citing a student for wrongdoing at his own home, and the district's parents found out about the school's slimy, creepy practice. They've leveraged a class action suit against the school district. Which to me isn't enough; there should be a way to saturation-bomb the entire district for this wrongdoing.

Imagine the abuses. Perverted school officials watching students undress, or do whatever students do in their bedrooms, unbeknown to the students or their families. Imagine a sicko watching your daughter in her room...well, I'm past the point of rage.

The only option? Allow the students to bug the school officials' homes. Let the students watch the officials who made the underhanded decision, as they go about whatever nefarious business they do at home.

Oh, and students of other districts that have issued laptops? I'd suggest you put some electrical tape over the webcam and turn off the microphone, or cover it with putty. You never know who could be watching you.

(Image source: Zazzle.com)

Going Under the Knife Tomorrow

2010-02-11T14:55:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow (that is, Friday the 12th of February, 2010), I get minor surgery. I'm getting a permanent neurostim implant. Not only will it forever relieve my sciatica pain, but it'll also give me superpowers on the level of Cole in inFamous. Seriously, I'll be able to surf on power lines and toss cars like candy.

The good news is, the procedure will relieve my pain and make me able to lead a more-normal life. The bad news is I'll be awake the whole time and I'll need about a week to recover due to the fact that it is, after all, minor surgery. Thus, if you don't see much going on in this space, for once it's not because of sheer laziness. This time, I have an excuse.

Wish me luck!

That is all.

EDIT: All went well. You may now refer to me as your Cybernetic Overlord. :)

The Perils of Being a Multi-Platform Gamer

2010-01-29T11:39:00.003-05:00

Y'know that rockin' new game that just came out, called Mass Effect 2? I love it, but I think it's best played on a PC.

Now, on some message boards, that statement could get me crucified. Notice that I didn't specifically dis the Xbox 360, PS3 or Wii, nor any of the handhelds. In fact, here's another statement that could get me slaughtered on certain boards:

I wouldn't play X-Men Origins: Wolverine on PC even if it were available. It rocks, however, on Xbox 360.

So there! The first statement, of course, seems to make me one of those "PC ROOLZ CONSOLES SUCK" kind of people, and some shortsighted losers online would interpret it as such. The second could mean I'm in the "PCS ARE CRAP FOR GAMES AND TOO COMPLICATED AND PC GAMING IS DOOMED" camp.

I'm in neither. I'm one of a growing group of people that I call multi-platform gamers. It's a scary world for us, because there are so many arguments on so many boards between the console nerds and the PC geeks, utterly ruling out their rival platform.

Me? I just love gaming. I prefer first- and third-person shooters and RTS titles on PC, generally. More action-oriented games like the brilliant titles inFamous, Brutal Legend and Darksiders belong on consoles, and are easier and more fun to play with gamepads and on large televisions. I like Xbox Live Arcade games, PlayStation Store games, and Steam games. I'm not a console or a PC gamer...I'm just a gamer.

Here's the thing: Have you ever noticed that when you say "Obama isn't very effective," liberals call you a neocon freakazoid Bush lover, whereas when you say, "Bush really screwed our economy," the conservatives call you a screeching moonbat Obama lover? Heck, I don't even know what a moonbat is, but I believe both of those statements are true. Just as I believe that different platforms are appropriate for different games. I'm politically, and gamingly, agnostic.

I've gone so far to post things like those first two gaming oriented statements on a board or two here or there...and gotten attacked for my efforts.

If you're an equally agnostic gamer, a multi-platform gamer so to speak, beware. Our time is coming, but right now it's a dangerous world. We must stay underground until the world has advanced enough to understand us. Good luck.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Creative

2010-01-25T13:40:00.002-05:00

Every time I pull a SoundBlaster card from my system, I swear I'll never go back to Creative. Somehow, I always do.

My latest row with the makers of the oldest name in quality PC sound come from something some of us SB users know casually as SCP. That clever acronym stands for snap, crackle, pop, and it has nothing to do with Rice Krispies. Google something like "SCP x-fi" and you'll come up something like 65,000 hits. There's a reason for that. There are also dozens of threads (example) on Creative's own forums on the topic.

I just yanked a Creative SoundBlaster X-Fi Titanium out of my system because, no matter what I did, I heard SCP whenever I played music, games, movies, etc. Little pops of crackling static, every few seconds, permeated everything I did with audio on my computer. Here are things that had no bearing: Drivers, speakers, motherboards, installed graphics cards, and standing on my head.

In the SB's place is an ASUS Xonar PCIe of some sort, and everything sounds terrific.

Why, then, do I go back? I don't really know. I've given outstanding reviews to competing sound cards in places for which I used to write, but somehow when the latest Creative effort comes out I jump all over it. Then the SCP returns. Creative denies it. Blames motherboards. Tells you to update your drivers. Etc.

I think maybe I'm a Xonar guy from now on. I've got a little Logitech X-540 5.1 speaker system on my main rig (my big, X-5500 is in the basement where I can crank it; and thanks, Jason, for sending me the x-540) and I'm getting excellent surround sound as I play my tunes, games, and films.

Creative, I've always loved you. And hated you. But for now I think we should see other people. Don't worry; we can still be friends.

My Zune is Dead. LONG LIVE MY ZUNE!

2010-01-23T14:10:00.003-05:00

Sigh. It was first-gen hardware. The batteries in these devices only last so long. Yes still, I was in complete denial of the inevitable. It was bound to happen one day, but I didn't want to think about it.

My Zune, my wonderful Zune, has died.

Getting the battery replaced is financially silly when you can buy a new 120GB Zune for just over twice the price of a battery service plus shipping. And that new 120GB Zune is well out of my price range.

I'm going to have to resign myself to the fact that I'll have to go Zune-less, at least until I get a fat work contract (ha!) and can justify spending the money. Until then, I guess I can use my PSP for my portable music...but it's just not the same. I want to be able to carry my ENTIRE LIBRARY with me everywhere I go.

So...the big question is: Who wants to buy me a new Zune?

Long live my Zune.

The Durham Network Overhaul Part One: Trepidation

2010-01-13T13:02:00.004-05:00

I try to reformat my various hard drives at least once a year. Doing so reduces bloat, streamlines registries, and generally forces me to think hard about which programs and games I really need installed - and which ones I do not.

So far, I'm in pretty good shape. The Windows 7 computers are fairly fresh (the OS isn't quite a year old, even if you count late betas and release candidates). Our notebook, which currently belongs to my wife and runs XP, may be on its last legs, but so it goes. My primary workstation, and also the family computer, both of which are running Win7, are in great shape.

My server/lab/office workstation is a problem, though. It's running Vista (and it will remain a Vista machine, mainly to aid in my various tech support/product testing efforts) and the installation is nearing the end of its second year. Bloat city.

I've found that Windows 7 really resists bloating up and slowing down, much to my delight. Windows Vista, however, exhibits the polar opposite behavior. With an ASUS P6T motherboard, an overclocked Core i7 and 12GB of memory, the Vista machine should be running like a dream. Instead, it chugs and sputters and generally pauses and forces me to wait - even if I so much as multitask in my head somewhere in the same room as the computer.

Right now, sitting on the top of the Vista PC's case, there is a first-gen Intel SSD with an 80GB capacity. Internally, the computer has two 1TB hard drives, one for data and one for shadowing.

Here's the plan: I am going to back everything up, wipe the drives in the Vista box clean, install the SSD as the boot/OS drive, keep the data and shadow drives in their current roles, set up a NAS device of some sort for backup and media streaming, and - well, I guess that should do it.

The downsides of such a grand strategy comes in twos: 1) I have to find the time to do it and 2) I have to do it. Barring any unforeseen problems, the whole thing should take about an afternoon. Since this is me doing the whole thing, there will be unforeseen problems, so I expect the process to take about a year and a half.

Then there's this: The more I think about doing the whole deed, the less I actually want to do it. Let's break it down. We're looking at about 1/10 challenging stuff, 5/10 busy work, and 153/10 troubleshooting. I realize something in there doesn't add up quite right, but that's how projects like this always go.

In any case, I'm expecting to get to it sometime very soon. I have about a month before I get my neurostim implant (if you've been following my FB feed, you know the trial went well and I'll be a full-time cyborg soon; if you haven't, don't worry - I'll probably write about it here at some point anyway). I'll want to get the major work on the Vista overhaul done before that. If I figure in the amount of time it might take, troubleshooting, the new daylight savings rules, tax time, the Book of Eli opening (I totally know the guy who wrote the script!!), add in lunch, carry the 3, and calculate, I guess I'll probably get started...oh, say, as soon as the Mayan calendar expires and the world ends.

Of course, before I do anything else, I'll have to play some God of War. Priorities!

Game of the Year!

2010-01-05T13:40:00.002-05:00

It's finally time. In fact, it's past time. It's belated. Were this a magazine and not a blog, I might get away with that first sentence, but since that's not the case, well...thanks for waiting.

I've gone through the games I've played that came out in 2009, and picked one Game of the Year and five runner ups. (Publishers, listen: Just because your game didn't make it, doesn't mean I didn't like it; perhaps I didn't play it, or maybe it just wasn't GOTY or runner-up material. It's not like an "award" from this unknown blog really makes much of a difference, right? In any case, we can still be friends.)

Before we get to the awards, let me explain my criteria for determining my selections. To really impress me, the game had to be:

1. Fun.

That's about it. I don't care if the graphics looked like ASCII art. I don't care if the sound was MIDI. While good looks and audio do add to the experience, the thing I really care about is spelled out in the thorough list above.

To the awards!

In no particular order, the runner ups were:

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (Played on PC)
I'll admit right off the top that the multiplayer didn't live up to that of the first MW game. So what? The single-player experience was sublime: It shocked, engaged, challenged, and delighted me. Yes, there was the shocking, early level that the game offered to let you skip--but if you played it through it induced the urge in your loins to KILL THOSE GODDAMN TERRORISTS! The momentum of that controversial level carried me through the game, and it was a hell of a ride.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (PS3)
I said graphics don't really matter--but I also said they do add to the game. This sucker features visual splendor unseen before. I don't recall very many repeated textures, cookie cutter level design (see: Halo), or anything besides jaw dropping eye candy. But wait, there's more: Next to the GOTY winner itself, the platforming in U2:AT blows everything else out of the water. I could have done with less combat, but the engagements were fun and exciting. Finally, points go to the game for making the hero, Nathan Drake, an interesting and deep character who actually displayed emotion and vulnerability.

Batman: Arkham Asylum (Xbox 360)
I already praised the audio of this stellar title. The voicework, music and sound effects were absolutely terrific. The things I enjoyed the most about Batman, though, were the stealth (strategically picking off armed guards one at a time) and the outright combat (clobbering a mob of unarmed guards with jaw breaking excellence). One of few titles I've taken the time to play through twice, B:AA deserves recognition.

Prototype (Played on PC)
I don't care about the criticism. I loved this game, and the reason is, as Alex I felt like the most badasss killing machine I've ever played. Come on. The dude can cut through entire armies of the infected without breaking a sweat. Heck, can he even sweat at all? He's made of goo. Does goo sweat? It sure can steal helicopters, which was another high point of the game, and the story told through the innovative Web of Intrigue worked for me.

Dragon Age: Origins (Played on PC)
Confession: I haven't finished this epic and very long game yet. Fact: I am going to, with gusto. While not quite Baldur's Gate II level of pure awesome, DA:O is nevertheless a mind blowing experience. Bioware could have done better graphically, but the story is holding my interest plot point to plot point, and the conversations with various party members and other folk are actually interesting and not stuffed with dull filler as they are in any number of RPGs. I'm sold. Unless the bottom drops out in the final act, this game is solid.

One honorable mention goes to Duke Nukem Forever, for being cancelled. Maybe. Or not. Who knows?

Another honorable mention goes to the PS3 revamp of the two PS2 God of War games. Talented artists goosed the PS2 graphics of the duo to look outstanding in high def on the PS3, and the gameplay holds up.

Game of the Year: Assassin's Creed II (Played on Xbox 360)
It's hard to criticize this title. It's just so good. The original AC entertained me until about four hours in, when it became boring and repetitive. Gradually, I grew to resent Altiar.

Italian assassin Ezio, however, is a digital god to me. There's so much more to do in this game, a much better plot, a much keener progression, and overwhelming incentive to play, play, and play some more. The platforming, using the puppeteer interface, is pure joy. The increased range of weaponry and armor, costumes and more, is oh so welcome. AC2 features so many ways to kill your target and anyone who gets in your way, there's actually a strategic element woven in. I don't want to spoil the game for anyone thinking of picking it up, so I won't mention specifics, but you can take out guards up close or from range with a dizzying variety of lethal means.

Being able to hire help successfully sidesteps the overuse of repetitive combat from the first game. Brawlers, hookers, and thieves will gladly accept Ezio's cash--which you earn in an entire subgame by fixing up a family villa--in return for fighting or distracting annoying guards.

There's way, way too much going for this game, more than I have time to write about. The visuals are eye popping, the voice acting is great...Ezio can swim! In Venice!!

That's it for now. Promise to post more.

Peace!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T11:13:00.003-05:00

It's been a rough year, as evidenced by my lack of posts. Don't worry--my New Year's resolution will be to post way more frequently. And everybody knows, no one ever breaks New Year's resolutions!

Have a merry Christmas/whatever you celebrate, and let's all hope 2010 is far, far better than 2009.

New Market: I'm in Computer Shopper!

2009-11-13T09:48:00.004-05:00

That's right! I'm now a contributor to Computer Shopper! My first work there is a netbook review with an interesting twist: The Acer Aspire One AOD250-1613 features Google Android in a dual boot setup with XP.

Here's a snippet:

Bringing us the first netbook with Google’s much-talked-about Android operating system, Acer has cemented its place in the mini-laptop marketplace. The $349 Aspire One AOD250-1613 comes with both Android and Windows XP in a dual-boot configuration, but once we test-drove the machine, we questioned how just useful this really is to the average user. Despite that, we found that performance and battery life on this model were impressive for a netbook, which makes it worthy of a look, even without Android.

For the whole thing, clickety-click right here. Read and enjoy!

Too Many Good Games, Too Little Time

2009-11-12T11:36:00.002-05:00

If you're going to have a dilemma, this is a good one to have to endure. Between my Steam press account and a stack of games that includes titles for PC, PSP, PS3 and Xbox 360, I don't have enough time to play my collection. My list of titles goes back to this past Summer, and if I'm going to catch up I have to do it before Holiday season. 2010.

I've already weeded out the games I know I'm not going to finish--the crappy games that I can't be bothered to mention. That leaves me with, to name a few:

Red Faction: Guerilla (PC)
Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood (PC)
Batman: Arkham Asylym (Xbox 360 and/or PC)
Forza Motorsport 3 (X360)
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (PS3)
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (PC)
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars (PSP)
Dragon Age: Origins (PC)
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 (X360)
Undead Knights (PSP)
Borderlands (PC)
etc

Okay, so it's not a terrible thing to have more games than I can play. Best of all, now that Amazon accepts game trade-ins, allows you to spend the proceeds on anything on the entire site, and offers more dough per title than GameStop, I can fund a nice Christmas for the little ones with trades alone. Take that, Santa!

I've got blogs to update, proposals to write, work to find, and, of course, games to play. Someday I'll even post impressions! Stay tuned.

Derek Torres

2009-11-03T10:21:00.002-05:00

Back when Windows Vista was in beta, I was commissioned by Wiley to write the Windows Vista Ultimate Bible. I knew when I looked at the sheer scope of the book I couldn't do it myself. My agent paired me up with an experienced writer named Derek Torres, and together we wrote that huge tome.

After that, Derek and I kept in casual touch. We'd share witty remarks now and then, and when the Facebook fad went big we quickly became FB friends. It was always a pleasure to read his often-hilarious updates, and his sly comments on my own updates. Derek had a way with words that I can only envy.

We teamed up for another book, which also features the wonderful Loyd Case. That book, the second revision of Wireless All-In-One for Dummies, will be published posthumously for Derek. Derek died last week of complications of H1N1, and I'm absolutely heartbroken.

So here's to a great writer, a reliable collaborator, an incredible wit, and a great friend. Derek, I miss you terribly. Rest in peace, my friend.

Rest in peace, Derek Torres

2009-10-27T21:28:00.002-04:00

My friend, fellow scribe, and two-time co-author, Derek Torres, died tonight in Paris, France, of complications of H1N1.

More to come.

I'm an Interviewee!

2009-10-14T22:11:00.003-04:00

One of the local Rochester Examiner writers, Andrea Coventry, interviewed me. Topics included family life in Rochester, NY; my Examiner blog on indie music; and Denny's.

Check out the interview, and drop a comment, if you care to, about how utterly cool I am. Also, take a gander at my take on buying locally from independent shops vs. buying from Amazon. If you care about independent music, bookmark my Examiner blog--I'll be posting there 2-4 times a week.

Case Roundup at Tom's Hardware!

2009-10-10T17:39:00.002-04:00

Missed this one! A review of five gaming enclosures went live at Tom's Hardware, written by yours truly.

Here's a snippet:

The cases in this roundup range in price from $120 to $400; these are not your $49, low-end, plastic chassis. All of them feature several fans, but I still tested their cooling abilities on a fairly standard Core i7 setup. Of course, to really throw in a challenge, I added a ridiculously hot graphics card (an ATI Radeon HD 4870 X2-based card from Asus), as if any number of fans can keep that monster cool.

Head on over there and check it out!

I Sold My Soul to Rock n Roll

2009-10-10T15:06:00.002-04:00

Hey folks, I'm now a rock writer!

Okay, here's the thing. It's for Examiner.com--I'm the Rochester, NY Indie Music Examiner. I know all about Examiner, and you've got to understand I'm not doing this gig for money (though there might be a little bit of cash involved). I'm doing it for two reasons:

I totally dig indie rock.
I'm trying desperately to break out of my tech writer thang and write about more mainstream stuff.

That doesn't mean I won't write about tech anymore--it's still my bread & butter. But I'd really like to be a more well-rounded writer, and this is a step toward that goal.

Please don't tell me Examiner horror stories. I've done my research and I know what I'm getting into. Some people swear by Examiner, others feel dirty and used after writing there. I'm on the fence right now, having only written one piece, but any excuse to write, write, write is a good one.

Be sure to check out my mini-review of Mike Doughty's new album and see where you can stream it all the way through for free. Try before you buy!

So there you have it. Thoughts?

Things Are Tough All Over

2009-10-07T15:14:00.003-04:00

Quick post to let y'all know I'm still alive. The blog got sidetracked as my search for paying markets has become my top priority. I have a family to feed.

Coming soon, my impressions of a batch of games, roundup style. That is, after I personalize replies to a whole batch of Craigslist ads, only to be ignored...

Listen Up: I'm Talkin' About Batman!

2009-09-16T10:21:00.000-04:00

Batman. A name that strikes fear into the hearts of the evil, or that conjures homophobic images of bulges in tights, depending on exactly which Batman you're talking about. Batman can be the cheesy, Adam West live action cartoon from the 60's, the inspiration for Saturday Night Live's Ambiguously Gay Duo. It can be the small-chinned Michael Keaton version from the 80's, a series which gradually got campier and campier until the costumes themselves featured nipples. It can be the cutting edge films of the past few years, which the death of an actor helped to propel to undeservedly glory heights.

Batman can also be the massive-chinned polygonal brute that puts nose-snapping hurt on thugs and super-villains alike in Batman: Arkham Asylum, the recently released game by Rocksteady Studios. Simply put, this last is the best of all the Batmans, mainly because it puts you in the costume--which thankfully lacks nipples of any sort.

Enough has already been said about Arkham Asylum without me adding to the fray. The combat system is, indeed, genius; the stealth mechanics are fantastic; the gadgets are Batworthy. What I want you to notice is the sound.

When you play through Arkham Asylum again, and you know you will, listen closely. From the voice acting to the crunches of the Dark Knight pounding some poor goon into the floor, the audio department got everything right. That's a rarity, to be sure; throw in the atmospheric, could-have-been-a-movie-score music and you've got a bona fide hat trick.

Batarangs have that metallic whoosh you'd always imagined. The roar of the Batmobile's engine, during its brief appearance, is dead on. Batman's Boy Scout voice belies his ridiculously pure morality long before the conclusion of the game demonstrates it. And those punches--well, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one of those blows. Whether it's Batman getting beaned on the noggin with a pipe or the Caped Crusader caving in Mr. Zsasz's face, you can feel the your own fillings coming loose when you hear those painful thuds.

Few games get every aspect of the audio as perfect as the shotgun sounded when you got your first sound card and listened to the effects in Doom. Batman: Arkham Asylum is just one of those titles. Play it again, and revel in not only what you see, but what you hear.

When Good Games Go Bad

2009-09-07T11:42:00.003-04:00

Alright, short post. I just gotta get something off my chest.

Terabytes worth of text has been written about publishers releasing buggy games just to make a buck, and then patching them to prevent all the negativity that releasing broken product generates. I myself have written a few articles and editorials on the problem.

I recently installed a game I acquired from a bargain bin a few months ago. It's Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell Double Agent, and, as a writer and budding novelist, I can say I'd have more pride than Clancy: I wouldn't have put my name on this buggy piece of crap.

Don't get me wrong. The game itself is awesome. It's intriguing, it's engrossing, and the first few levels are incredibly fun to play. That's why I became infuriated when, a few levels in, the game started freezing when it tries to load the next level. It's stuck. It won't go any further. There's no fix in sight.

Goddamn it.

I want to play more. I want to know what happens next. I want whoever at Ubisoft decided to release the game in its "final" state drawn and quartered. Back when Ubisoft supported the game, it released a few patches--and the bug ridden bastard of a title still doesn't work. To this day it generates message board posts (remember, it's 3-year-old game, which makes it ancient in computer time), and they're full of vitriol.

I know there's nothing to be done. I'm only venting. But for heaven's sake, somebody, anybody, make publishers stop doing this! I, and I'm sure most gamers worldwide, are sick of it!

Soon to come on DoG: Current games I'm playing (and most of them work): My thoughts on Batman, Blazkowicz, and more!

Movin' On Over

2009-09-03T01:32:00.002-04:00

Google is...tired.

WordPress is the new black!

Still in pre-beta, but check out a preview of what's to come. More later.

Game Character Deathmatch: Wolverine Versus Batman

2009-09-02T13:21:00.001-04:00

Okay, since I'm waiting for Windows 7 to do some boring stuff to my wife's computer, here's another game character brawl.

This time we're looking at the Batman: Arkham Asylum version of the Dark Knight versus the X-Men Origins: Wolverine version of Logan. Break it down:

Batman has no superhuman abilities, but he's probably the most physically fit normal-human superhero since Arnold Schwarzenegger discovered horse steroids. Bruce Wayne has an infinite amount of money, seemingly, to gussy himself up with armor and gizmos designed for fighting crime without killing all involved--which makes one wonder whether Bill Gates or the odd Arabian oil baron doesn't swing from rooftops and throw metal boomerangs at muggers. I guess if I had Bruce Wayne money, I'd get even fatter and hurl fistfulls of hundred dollar bills at everyone around me until I owned the world and much of the Milky Way galaxy, but that's just me.

Moving on, Logan is a brutal berserker who doesn't have all that much money, but he does have a few mutant powers. He can heal wounds in minutes, he has the senses of a canine, and, as we all learned in one of the crappiest superhero movies to be released in years, his bones and his mighty, retractable claws are laced with indestructible adamantium, which doesn't drink or smoke (but Wolverine does both). It should be noted that Wolverine doesn't have superhuman strength or anything like that, but he's probably almost as physically fit as Batman.

I think the big factor in the deathmatch between Bruce and Logan is that Bruce is the cliché gay name. Or not. The biggest factor is that Batman tends not to kill, but instead locks bad guys up in places from which they can easily escape and terrorize Gotham City again within a few hours after capture. Wolverine, meanwhile, would much rather shred villains into bite sized chunks than capture them. Facing Batman, Wolverine would gladly chop off the Dark Knight's stupid pointy ears--along with the rest of his head--and be on his way.

Batman can fight. He'd likely throw all kinds of contraptions from his Utility Belt (capitalized on purpose) at Wolverine, which Wolverine would eat. Come on, a "batarang?" Even if it scored a hit, Logan would heal up by the time he closed the distance and plowed his claws through Batman's precious armor and reduced the Caped Crusader to a fine, red mist. Then, just to be thorough, Wolverine would blow up Wayne Mansion, cave in the Batcave, and joy ride the Batmobile around town until he picked up a few chicks.

I'm giving this match to Wolvie. Sorry, Batfans, but unless Brucie found a way to fly away and go into hiding, instead of just gliding around like a kite on a calm day, he wouldn't stand a chance against an angry Logan.

Work Alert!

2009-08-22T14:55:00.002-04:00

The awesome tech news/reviews/everything else site HotHardware.com has posted a review I scrunched out.

It's a system review of the AVA Direct Custom GT3 gaming system, a little desktop with a top-handle for lugging about to LAN fests. Here's a clip:

AVA Direct's custom GT3 series is aimed squarely at the LAN party gamer, and won't throw out your back with its diminutive size and weight. It's built with portability in mind; the case is small, it comes with a handle and the thing weighs less than 20 pounds. And because it's custom, you can build it up as you please at AVA Direct's Web site. Finally, due to the fact that the GT3 is more a tiny desktop than a true SFF (Small Form Factor) machine, in theory, it shouldn't sacrifice much power for the sake of portability.

Please, check out the review and, if you're the commentin' type, comment as you may.

Durham on Games? How about Durham on Getting a Job?

2009-08-19T10:06:00.003-04:00

All that awesome freelance I mentioned didn't pan out like I thought it would. Sure, I'm getting work, but it's slow to come. Meanwhile, my wife is supporting us. Thank heavens for Emily, the Ace Radiologic Technologist (aka x-ray tech).

I wrote another story for my writers' circle. It's called "Note." Give it a look if you care to. No word yet on my novel, which is in the skillful hands of my awesome agent Lynn. If it gets published, I expect my readers (BOTH of you!) to buy a copy and make it a bestseller.

More later. One of these days, a couple of pieces I've written will be posted. Maybe someday I'll even get paid.

One Bullet: A Prototype Short Story

2009-08-09T14:50:00.002-04:00

I'm an avid creative writer. I have a novel currently being considered for representation by an agent (whom, in turn, I trust completely). I have many, many megabytes of short stories here and there on my drive, possibly 20-30 stories in all. I rarely write about gaming or tech in my creative works, but this one's a bit different.

Give the fact that I LOVE writing short fiction, I belong to an online writers' group. The moderator, who goes by the screen monkier "Creole Ned," gives us ideas upon which we riff to create short stories.

I've been lurking this online message board based club for months, but finally submitted my first short story. Ned's premise?

Exercise 23: Games People Play
Write a scene or story based on a video, board or card game.

Check my entry out and let me know what you think.

CoolIT Domino A. L. C. Cooler Review on PC Perspective

2009-07-27T16:41:00.002-04:00

Check it out.

The obligatory quote (the intro, actually):

CoolIT Systems has built a reputation for bringing liquid cooling to the masses. With its various, integrated, sealed-unit liquid coolers, it has removed the need for amassing radiators, hoses, reservoirs, water blocks, and other miscellany and then assembling them into a working system free of air and contaminants.

Most of CoolIT's liquid coolers come with a reservoir/radiator/fan that mounts over the more-or-less standard, rear, 120mm fan grate found on most enclosures. Two hoses connect the unit to a water block that fastens to the CPU. The new Domino A. L. C. keeps up that same tradition, but comes with some new twists that make it even more compelling than earlier CoolIT liquid cooling systems.

Dig it. Let me know what you think.

The Legendary Loyd Case is BACK!

2009-07-25T13:41:00.002-04:00

If you have a second and desire some serious insight into the tech industry, there's nothing like reading content from Loyd Case. My former supervisor, he's easily the most intelligent, knowledgable tech dude I've ever worked with. Loyd should be Mayor of the Tech Press.

Do check out his blog, leave a comment, and cheer him on.

When Loyd Case talks, people should listen.

Slaving Over a Hot Computer

2009-07-21T15:51:00.004-04:00

I know I haven't been announcing much in the way of work, but I'm busy as hell writing and schmoozing for parts. Down time has been scarce, so definitely stay tuned for links. I have about four current assignments, possibly five, and a batch of ideas I have yet to pitch.

Hey, while you're looking for something to do, why not check out the various sites of my good friend Jim Lynch? He was the forum moderator and Linux guru over at ET, before the staff got hosed.

He's all over the place, including Jim Lynch.com, Desktop Linux Reviews, and of course on the social networking sites like LinkedIn and Facebook (where Jim & I often, good-naturedly argue politics).

Also still alive is my former fellow analyst Jason Cross, who hosts his own blog.

I'm not sure what Loyd's up to, but he had some big ideas before he took off to Europe for three weeks (loser!) (just kidding).

ET had some serious talent. Be sure to keep up with everyone who made the site what it was (Loyd, Jason, Jim, Mikey Nguyen, Jeremy Atkinson, and all the past tech gurus who are scattered about the ether).

Oh yeah, and me.

Game Character Smackdown Part 2: Doom Guy vs. Quake Guy

2009-07-15T12:57:00.002-04:00

This bugger of a beatdown all depends on which versions of these games we're talking about. Doom, of course, is up to its third incarnation, while Quake is on its fourth. The purist in me, however, wants to compare the originals of each title, and how the nameless main characters would fare against each other.

The Doom Guy is armed with mostly conventional weaponry: a shotgun, a chaingun, a rocket launcher, a chainsaw. He also, eventually, carries a couple of more exotic weapons: the plasma gun, and the BFG9000.

The original Quake Guy, meanwhile, carries similar weaponry (a shotgun, a super shotgun, a grenade launcher, a rocket launcher) plus his signature armaments: the nailgun, the super nailgun, an axe, and a lightning gun.

Now, armed with all of their weapons, the Doom Guy would probably just fire the BFG and blow the Quake Guy to atoms. Stripped of that possibility, however, the Doom Guy becomes just about the equal of the Quake Guy.

This smackdown would basically be a running, jumping, strafing affair with thousands of rounds of ballistics fired off before one of the two went down. It also would depend greatly on the available armor, health, quad-damage, and other goodies might be scattered about the arena. For example, if someone nabbed quad-damage and got close enough for a decent shotgun blast, the fight's pretty much over in a mess of bloody pulp.

Conclusion: with the BFG9000 in play, the Doom Guy wins hands down. Without it, the fight goes to whoever grabs a lucky shot. It's a draw.

Live, Baby!

2009-07-13T15:42:00.004-04:00

Here is my first live piece on HotHardware! I know it's only a news story, but more (and meatier) to come!

Videogame Character Smackdowns I'd Like to See

2009-07-11T17:28:00.001-04:00

Here's a new, ongoing series for DurhamOnGames.

There are boss battles and there are boss battles. Most of them suck. You get killed a few dozen times learning the patters of each stage of the boss' attack, then you triumph--darting through a quick time event reflex test minefield or two in the process, usually.

I'm sick of boss battles. When the enemy life meter appears, informing you that you've progressed far enough playing the fun parts of a game to have to endure the boss sequence, I'd like to just end the game right there. It won't be fun again for at least a half hour of trial and freaking error.

How about this? How about cross-over licensing? Make bosses from one game franchise become the star of another franchise? You know what I'm talking about, and it's not lame Mario-meets-Sonic crap. Let me give you a few examples. Ten, to be precise. Ten videogame character smackdowns I'd really like to see. Sure, they're as likely to happen as a Marvel character meeting Superman on the big screen, but a guy can dream, right? Sheesh.

Alex "Prototype" Mercer versus Cole "Infamous" McGrath
They're brooding. They're angry. They have powers for reasons unknown throughout most of th game. And with great power, as Uncle Ben once told Peter, comes the need to do great damage.

Alex posses godlike powers of transformation, able to throw cars in the air, hijack helicopters, and devour people for their memories and his own life force. Cole has the power of a, well, a really angry, anamorphic battery. He can zap people, zap cars, and generally zap things. Can he zap Alex into submission?

Probably not. While Alex can disguise himself by devouring a target of his choosing, destroy entire buildings with devastator attacks, and rip through hoards of infected and military fools in a matter of seconds, Cole can pretty much shoot lightning bolts at targets. Sure he can flip and blow up cars, if he doesn't run out of juice doing so. In an area of a city that still has its power grid online where Cole can juice up when he needs to, Cole might stand a chance.

Who are we kidding? Expect Alex to be wearing Cole's skin as a trophy within 3 minutes of their encounter.

Next smackdown coming soon!

Monday, Monday, Monday

2009-07-10T12:49:00.002-04:00

Watch HotHardware.com this Monday for at least a couple of news posts from yours truly. I have assignments from all three of the sites mentioned in my last post, and also from another couple of secret markets. More to come!

That, plus more regular blogging. Topics to include games, gaming, my sadly broken keyboard, and more. Gotta run for now, but keep watching this space...

Soon to be Working Again

2009-06-29T08:41:00.006-04:00

Happy Monday. Back to work? For me, almost. Three sites will soon feature my peculiar prose, and they are:

HotHardware.com: Brainchild of the charismatic Dave Altavilla, who has invited me on to do news and reviews!

PC Perspective: The brilliant Ryan Shrout has brought me on to do opinion pieces, reviews and whatever else he cares to toss me!

and

Tom's Hardware: Supereditor Chris Angelini brought me aboard to do in depth hardware reviews and features!

Watch those sites, and of course this blog, for all kinds of future works of yours truly. Thanks for your support, and thanks to the fellas above for putting food on the Durham table!

The End

2009-06-26T09:53:00.003-04:00

ExtremeTech signs off (in its current, robust form) today with a final column by the incredible Jim Lynch. Check it out.

I'm going to take a short day, grab a few beers, and try to kill as many brain cells as possible before Monday, when I'll be back here to announce not two, but three amazing tech sites that, for some reason, want me to write for them. They're all terrific destinations and I'm proud that thier editors would consider me, much less make solid offers before my ET job even ends!

Thanks for all the kind comments. Have a terrific weekend!

So it Goes

2009-06-25T01:33:00.002-04:00

My final work is up at ExtremeTech. Check it out, and leave me a farewell on the messageboards if you wish. It links back to this blog, which, come Monday, will have two big announcements regarding my career.

And Another!

2009-06-23T14:32:00.003-04:00

Another phone call, another promise of regular, steady freelance work from another major tech site!

This will be more opinion oriented than the first; I'll write editorials as much as anything else...and as you know, I'm an opinionated son-of-a-b.

Details to come! I'm so excited I want to spill the beans on both these gigs, but I can't...not until I'm officially done being a Lame Duck Senior Technology Analyst for the soon-to-be-nerfed ExtremeTech.

As soon as I'm unemploye--er--a full-time, self-employed freelance writer, I'll let you know where to watch for me. Until then, keep this blog on your radar.

DurhamOnGames.com is Live

2009-06-23T13:06:00.002-04:00

Change your bookmarks. The URL of this here tech/gaming/opinion blog is now:

www.durhamongames.com

or just

durhamongames.com

That is all.

Big News!

2009-06-23T11:36:00.003-04:00

I landed a regular, steady freelance gig with a major tech website! I'll start around Wednesday, July 1, or thereabouts.

I can't reveal the place you'll see my spastic writing just yet, but I promise to break the news on Monday, June 29. Watch this silly space for more!

This is BIG, folks. It'll put bread on my table, it'll give me a place to write tech for my loyal readers, and it'll keep me solid in the tech industry. And it's only the first freelance market I've spoken to.

More to come!!

DurhamOnGames.com is coming...

2009-06-23T11:34:00.002-04:00

Quick note:

Just registered the URL. Soon you won't have to type '.blogspot.com', this space will simply reside at 'DurhamOnGames.com.'

Big Wah

2009-06-23T10:08:00.004-04:00

I'm working on my final piece for ExtremeTech, a review of a new gaming headset. It's harder than I thought it would be.

In typical circumstances, I'd test the thing for a couple of weeks then pound out the review in a few hours. This time, I've tested it for about a week and a half but the actual writing process of the review just isn't flowing.

Because it's my last piece for ExtremeTech.

This was my dream job. I'm really going to miss it.

On a better note, I have calls coming up today with a couple of editors about regular freelance work, at Web sites you probably know. I can't say anything yet, but keep an eye on this space...

Prototype is GOTY Material

2009-06-21T02:59:00.002-04:00

Prototype is kicking my ass all over town. I'm playing on PC. It's a great escape during a tough time in my life, and it's an incredible game all around. I love the way the guy you play--Alex Mercer--is more powerful than any character I've played in a game in the past several years.

Imagine the strength of the Hulk, the agility of Spider-Man, and the rage and anger of Wolverine in one neat package that can also absorb people and beasts and gain their memories and powers. Tearing through the streets and rooftops of Manhattan is fun enough; hijacking APCs and helicopters, destroying entire buildings in minutes, wiping out platoons of military with a few mouse clicks, and leaving a path of blood and destruction is all icing on the cake.

The Web of Intrigue system, in which Alex learns clues about his past (he starts the game as so many game characters do, with amnesia) and how he gained his Godlike power by absorbing certain individuals and plumbing their memories. It's a genius way to tell a story in a sandbox game. You can play this game at your pace and there's plenty to do in a city overrun by a virus (that might be related to your powers) that's turning people into monsters, with the military trying to "contain" the outbreak basically by killing every that moves. You can advance the plot with story missions or partake in a number of side activities, a la Saint's Row.

I'm probably about halfway through Prototype and I'm digging every second of it. This is Game of the Year material, easilyMy only gripe is that the controls are way complicated, but you get used to it. My advice is to ignore the few negative reviews (some people just don't get it) and, if you're into sandbox games with superpowered antiheroes, grab a copy and dig in. Enjoy.

Hello World

2009-06-18T14:02:00.001-04:00

Welcome to Durham on Games...

Okay, I'll be honest. This won't always be about games. I had to think of something, and this sounded cool. Plus, it shortens down to DoG, which is totally bonus.

Mainly, I wanted a spot to keep in touch with my readers, mostly those who know me from ExtremeTech, but also longtime readers from the days of PC Gamer and CNET's Gamecenter. Now I have a place to sound off on my favorite subject--gaming--and also to tell y'all where to find my latest writing now that ET's been nerfed.

Keep an eye on this space. I'm already in touch with a whole bunch of established sites to freelance for them, and I have some irons in the fire as far as tech books are concerned.

More to come. I'm down, but not out.