Monday, November 4, 2013

Three Games You Ought to Have Purchased...

...and Why You Still Should

Everyone makes mistakes.

Pictured: Not me. (Source:
WikiMedia Commons)
Geez, I screw up all the time. Once, when I was, like, 17 years old and very drunk, I got home at 3:30 in the morning. With my beer-induced ninja skills, I decided to proceed silently into my bedroom, without
disturbing so much as a carpet fiber. I can do that when I'm drunk.

As I made my way up the stairs, I realized they were creaking in a very unninjalike manner, so I tried the old trick where you go up one side, as far to the side as you can, of the staircase. Steps supposedly don't creak as much when you tiptoe like that.

Under cover of darkness, silent as a still winter's night, I lifted my foot, and, with ancient Asian precision and wisdom, I lost my balance, stepped on my dog's squeaky toy, screamed because the sudden noise startled me, and fell backward down the three-or-so steps I'd masterfully ascended.