Saturday, October 26, 2013

Bat Defeated By Bugs

Is Batman: Arkham Origins the buggiest game since Battlecruiser 3000AD?

WTF?

Normally, bats eat bugs. In this case, a massive swarm has devoured a bat. Bugs, bugs and more bugs have crashed, crushed, and utterly destroyed Gotham City's only hope; the mighty Batman has fallen.

In case you've been hiding in a bat-filled cave under a mansion for the past few years, dig this. Batman: Arkham Origins is the third game in the Arkham franchise. The first two titles, Arkham Asylum and Arkham City, were both absolutely fantastic. Like the Dark Knight trilogy, however, the third time's anything but the charm: Part Three appears to have unraveled worse than that sweater from the Weezer song.
The Dark Knight Rises, quite plainly, sucked moose cock. Batman Begins and, to a lesser extent, The Dark Knight, were pretty decent films. For reasons that have been detailed all over the web, though, The Dark Knight Rises kind of dragge
d the whole franchise down into a septic tank full of broken dreams. Smelly, poop encrusted, broken dreams.

I can't really tell you much about the content of Batman: Arkham Origins. It's definitely a prequel to Asylum and City, set about five years before the former, and bad things happening in Gotham prompt some rich dude named Bruce to put on a cowl and beat people up. I tend not to read reviews of games before I play them, though, so I only know the barest synopsis. I refuse the play the game any further because the bugs are so prevalent, I can't get more than about fifteen minutes into the game before it starts to fall apart. Digitally, not literally.

The particular bug that's haunted me the most involves my wired Xbox 360 controller for Windows. Not only does it stop working as I play Origins, Windows actually stops recognizing it. It appears in Device Manager as an "unknown device." After Microsoft Support disconnected me twice in a row, I figured out the solution myself: I have to reinstall DirectX to get the Windows 7 x64 to recognize the controller again.

That's not the only bug. There are a few more.

There have been buggier games released to the public, but not many. The most notable disaster is Derek Smart's magnum opus Battlecruiser 3000AD. The AI impaired eXtreme Paintbrawl also comes to mind.

Neither of those games, however, had extremely popular and powerfully addictive franchises behind them to raise expectations into the upper atmosphere, though. Hype? Maybe. But powerhouses like Asylum and City preceding them? Nope. It's possible that Origins is so startlingly buggy, it's conceivable that it could destroy one of the most successful franchises in recent memory.

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