Monday, October 22, 2012

Three Games that are Totally the Shit and You Should Play Them: PART I

If you are not playing these PC titles, the first of which I'm covering is Sleeping Dogs, you are a worthless, steaming pus sac.

Three games. No more, no less. Well - more, maybe; I could include Worms Revolution, but I haven't played enough of it; or Borderlands 2, but I've already played plenty of Borderlands and, let's be honest here, there's not a hell of a lot new in the sequel to lure me away from porn.

But the three I'm about to write about - wow. Even Metacritic, that infallible bastion of completely informative opinion aggregation with which developers are simply in love - even Metacritic, that site frequently mistaken for the binary Rotten Tomatoes in that gamers, in all their unfathomable wisdom, read it as if 80 or more equals GOOD, 79 or less equals CRAP - even Metacritic agrees with me. That doesn't mean I've sunken to the level of Metacritic, merely that I've discovered Sleeping Dogs, XCOM: Enemy Unknown and Dishonored and I totally dig them - so much so that I can't imagine writing this crap any further instead of playing them some more.

But for you, my reader, I soldier on. But not too soldiery do I soldier on, because that would mean I'm somehow not lazy. Thus, I'll divide the three reviews into equal parts, to be published once a week. Hell, who am I kidding? I'll publish them in random intervals depending upon how much sleep I've recently gotten and how much I've had to drink that morning.